Ashamed. Embarrassed. Horrified. 😳
This is what I distinctly remember feeling many years ago while in practitioner studies. It was during an in-class exercise designed to uncover hidden self-limiting beliefs. In other words, I'd be getting a glimpse of what down deep I believed to be true about myself.
We were told to take out our notebooks and a pen. The teacher let us know that our papers wouldn't be handed in (so no one else would be reading them), reminded us that sharing was always optional, and put on soft background music. 🎶
Then she gave us a simple journal prompt and informed us that we had 10 minutes to respond to the prompt in our notebooks, through stream of consciousness writing. She encouraged us to keep writing until she called time, and to let our thoughts freely flow on to the page. ⏰
I was maybe a little naive, but decided to be courageous enough to pull back the curtain of my mind to see what may be lurking in the shadows of my subconscious. I gave myself permission to not censor what came forth, and dove in. 📝
If you'd asked me what I knew to be true about myself, I'd have said I was intelligent, compassionate, ambitious, a problem solver, patient, loving and probably one of the most empathetic people you'd ever meet. ☺️
But underneath? Not so much. Here's some of what came up.
"Why do you think you deserve anything good?"
"You're a terrible person!"
"You should be ashamed of yourself."
"No one will ever really love you. How could they?"
When it was time to put our pens down I could barely lift my eyes from the paper. Where had this come from? 😔
Turns out, most of it came from the first 7 years of my life. The critical period when our brains are like sponges, absorbing everything we see, hear and feel. That means much of what we learn and believe to be true about ourselves comes from our early interactions with caregivers, family and the world around us, when we don't yet have the ability to discern what is or isn't true.
So imagine little Stacey at 4 years old, being interested in her 13 year old brother's homework. But in her enthusiasm, she's annoying him. He wants to finish so he can go outside and throw a ball around with his friends. He doesn't have time for all her questions, that by the way, to him are ridiculously obvious. His patience wearing thin, he hisses at her under his breath, "Go away already, you are SO stupid!"
It wasn't of course true, but his words stung, and not being able to process what just happened logically, she believes it. And moving forward any time she can't do or understand something, or her brother or someone else tells her she's stupid, dumb or doesn't get it , the belief is reinforced.
A belief that branches out to:
❌ I'm not good enough.
❌ I don't deserve success.
❌ I shouldn't even try.
❌ I can't do anything right.
❌ I'm not capable.
❌ I can't change.
So why does it matter?
Because even if as little Stacey gets older she knows herself to be intelligent and capable, the belief formed in those early years sticks back in her subconscious, loving to sabotage goals, desires and dreams. 😈
Your beliefs directly impact every area of your life, including:
✔ Health
✔ Career
✔ Relationships
✔ Bank accounts
✔ Emotional well-being
✔ Confidence
Ready for the great news?
You can change them. 💪🏼
Yup. You get to challenge your self-limiting beliefs.
Think of it like reverse engineering.
A belief is a deeply ingrained, emotionally backed thought. With a dedicated effort, you can create new thought patterns and build empowering beliefs that support all you want to do, be and have. 🌟
Over the next few weeks I'll be addressing some of the more universal self-limiting beliefs, along with tools to change them. It begins with first recognizing and claiming this power.
If there's any area of your life where you want something more or different, but feel stuck, hopeless or that someone else is responsible for it, I encourage you to click below and work with this week's Five Minute Fix meditation #026: Changing your life from the inside, out 💪🏼
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