Last week I was deep cleaning my living room when I realized my rug was on it's last days. We'd bought it when we first moved in to our house about five years earlier. It's muted blues and grays were the perfect soothing complement to our taste and decor. But in my household with two dogs, three cats and one husband - rug years are like dog years, and the time had come where no amount of carpet shampoo was going to bring it back to life. My rug, bless it's threads, had to go.
I went online to scour my favorite shopping sites for our next rug. I was excited to see one that I had been eyeing for a while, with it's varying shades of blues, greens and grays, was on a flash sale, the price making it pretty much making it a no-brainer. Still, I'm not an impulse buyer, so I did all the things - used the "see in your room" feature to view a digital rendition, asked my husband at least ten times what he thought ("whatever you want, babe, this is your world"), and scrutinized it in comparison to about, oh, 500 others - before finally putting down my credit to make it ours.
A few days later our rug arrived I was ecstatic! I cleared all the furniture and did one more clean for good measure before tearing in to the packaging to unveil our new addition. I rolled it out in the center of the living room, swizzled back all my furniture before stepping back to take it all in - and I HATED it! The colors were too bold, the pattern too busy. It was wrong in every way, destroying my sanctuary space.
This was about the time my husband came in. One look at my face - and probably the rug - and he knew. "What do you want to do?" he asked. I didn't care if we returned it, gave it away or made cat scratchers of it so long as it was abolished from my space. But I couldn't admit that to him - or myself - quite yet so instead I said, "Let's give it a day or two," and I left it there, begrudgingly.
And then, a bit later on, I began noticing how the bold colors brought a new vibrancy to the room, how the busy pattern seemed to add a lively dimension to the space. The rug was, dare I say - beginning to grow on me. It seemed to magically both ground and brighten my space. How had I missed that before?
I'm sure you're not surprised to hear me say that within a few days I absolutely fell in love with my rug. How glad I am that I didn't give in to my initial reaction, that instead I allowed myself a moment to adjust and let the newness settle. I'd have missed out on the unexpected joy and zest this rug is breathing in to our home.
In life, much like my rug saga, we face situations that trigger us. An offhand comment from someone, a sudden change in plans, unsolicited feedback or advice sends us in to a knee-jerk reaction where we say or do things that later we regret. In retrospect, we know that if we'd just taken a moment to shift out of reactivity, we would have created the space for a better outcome.
The key to a mindful response really, is to stay present. And how we stay present, especially during times of stress, anxiety and emotionally charged interactions and events, is to create space between us and our thoughts and emotions. It's a skill and way-of-being that we work on and develop, much like how we workout to build muscle in our physical body. Dedicating even just a few minutes a day to spiritual practices like meditation, journal exercises and targeted contemplation helps you cultivate this space, enabling you to respond to both life's challenges as well as the small moments with calm and clarity.
My rug story is a reminder to me of the benefits of thoughtfully responding. What began as a huge regretful purchase transformed into an uplifting, amazing addition to my home, simply by having the space to adjust to change. I invite you to explore this week's five minute fix meditation: embracing thoughtful action over knee-jerk reactions.
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